Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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