The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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