is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
