Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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