I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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