She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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