So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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