i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
