I am in a vortex of obligation.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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