Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
