In the future we'll all be gay
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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