i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
