i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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