..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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