I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize
