I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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