I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
