i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
