So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
