Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
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