I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Someone came in the potted fern
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
