My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
