He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Sacagawea was the original milf.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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