Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i came on her dog
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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