theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
