a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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