The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
we're making bets on your personal life
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
