its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
