I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
