I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
