It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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