i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
