This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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