Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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