I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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