The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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