ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
