I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
