I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
