did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Holy sore nipples Batman
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
