His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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