I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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