so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
