drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
