I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
