You're my little dorito
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
