walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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