Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Randomize
