Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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