Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
