I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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