in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
