It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
