Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
